A message from Maria Coutant Skinner, LCSW, President & CEO
September 30, 2025
Dear friends;
There is much to celebrate during this Recovery Month, and rightfully so. The majority of this newsletter is dedicated to that celebration—recognizing progress, honoring resilience, and uplifting our shared journey. But there’s something else lingering in the ether lately—something that also feels important to name and explore: a rising sense of anger, often escalating to rage, that’s especially palpable online.
Many of us seek to escape and relax at the end of a busy day, so we settle in for a little scroll through the various social media platforms. Amid the heartwarming photos of pets, family, and life updates, we often encounter posts that provoke strong emotional reactions. We can feel it in our bodies, at once uncomfortable and seductive.
Maybe it’s a post we strongly disagree with, or one that makes us feel judged, betrayed, or disappointed by someone we thought shared our values. And then we’re off: diving into comment threads, searching for validation, or reacting impulsively. Either way, we stay on the platform—exactly where it wants us.
Because here’s the truth: when we are enraged, we are engaged.
Research shows that anger drives more clicks and longer time online than any other emotion. As Tulane University’s study on “rage clicks” highlights—and as Tobias Rose-Stockwell explores in Outrage Machine (2023)—online outrage is not just a symptom; it’s a strategy. It’s designed to hold our attention and generate profit.
We have an understanding that this pattern of behavior is unproductive. It is destructive to our well-being and inhibitory to our ability to resolve conflicts. So, we attempt to counter it; sometimes by just disengaging with those with whom we disagree, sometimes with appeals that we just need to get along. But those don’t advance the conversation, and they certainly aren’t substantive solutions. So, where does that leave us? Real solutions require deeper, intentional work. Here’s a place to start:
A Path Forward (In Steps)
- Understand who benefits when we remain divided and online. Our conflict fuels the business models of social platforms and media companies. Stay critical, vet your sources, and consume content mindfully.
- Recognize emotional manipulation. We need to train ourselves to recognize information that is being manufactured to illicit an emotional response and be very wary.
- Stay grounded in justice. There are real issues that demand urgent action. People are being harmed, blamed, and dehumanized. There are groups of people being harmed, blamed for societal ills and utterly dehumanized – it is right and important to have a sophisticated understanding of those situations and do all we can to counter them.
- Pause before reacting. When we feel emotionally charged, we need to step away, breathe, take a walk and not take any immediate action.
- Pursue depth over division. We can work to stay humble and open to understand an issue or point of view deeply. We can commit to deep learning and analysis rather than consuming soundbites that only serve to divide and enrage.
- Recovery principles. This is often the skipped step: the deep processing of the pain or discomfort that is leading to the rage. I have found that this is nearly impossible online – but if you have a different experience, I’d love to hear about it. This is where the deep work on ourselves can take place and we can use recovery principles to guide us. We can ask ourselves:
Where does this pain live in me?
What past hurt might be resurfacing?
What am I truly feeling?
What is my next right step?
Who can I check in with for perspective?
How can my response serve the greater good?
- Set healthy boundaries. We can set a timer to help limit our time online and follow it with real-life, face-to-face interactions that nourish our spirits.
This growing divisiveness is deeply harmful, to our communities, our collective mental health and our capacity to heal. I’d love to hear your reflections and ideas for additional solutions. We need each other in this work, and it’s imperative that we find a healthier way through.
In solidarity,
Maria
Maria Coutant Skinner, LCSW
President and CEO
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