Transcription
[00:00]
I think it’s very cool that on my 32nd anniversary here at WZBG, I get to have a conversation with Maria Coutant Skinner, Executive Director at McCall Behavioral Health. Good morning.
[00:12]
Good morning. Happy anniversary. What a treat to be with you on this auspicious day.
[00:20]
Great to have you on the show, and I can’t believe it’s been this many years. But, you know, I guess that’s what makes it great, is that it doesn’t seem like it’s been any time at all.
[00:35]
That’s true. It’s been a number of years. And it comes through, Dale. You can tell you love what you do. It’s a great thing.
[00:45]
We love what we do, and we love to share good information. That’s right. Once a month, we get to join up with you guys from the McCall Behavioral Health Network, and we’re going to include some people who maybe don’t get the attention that they deserve or have earned when it comes to overall health. Whether it’s somebody who’s in a battle with addiction, somebody who’s working through some mental health issues, someone who’s got some other broader health concerns, and the people around them who are part of that whole situation. So we’re going to broaden things out a little bit to family health here. And I guess what a lot of people don’t know about McCall is the depth and breadth of the services you guys offer.
[01:34]
Right. Yeah, I think you pointed it out. Traditionally, in all of healthcare, we haven’t considered the broader systems. None of us are islands, right? We all have our families. We were just talking about our grandkids before we came on the air. And if you think about somebody receiving, like, a cancer diagnosis, that doesn’t just impact the patient who’s received that news. That’s all of their loved ones that surround them. And that is part of the human condition. It’s actually a beautiful aspect of the human condition.
So I think what we try to look at is if someone is struggling with their mental health, or maybe they’re struggling with substance use, or maybe they are carrying a diagnosis and it is impacting their mental health, then we want to make sure to take care of that whole system that surrounds that identified person. And so that’s what we’re going to talk about today together.
[02:40]
You know, it’s interesting. On a personal note, my brother just came through a successful cancer treatment, but he was the first one of our siblings to contract cancer. And yeah, you speak very well. I mean, it pretty much, full stop, everything in routine for us siblings, for the family, because now it’s like, how can we support my brother? And how do we help him get through this? And how do we keep ourselves on track while he’s going through this to be supportive and carry through and get through this? Again, happy ending, right? But having been through that fight, I can relate to what you’re talking about.
[03:30]
Yeah, and I think what a beautiful way you all showed up for him. And I think certain diagnoses carry different reactions, and certain ones carry stigma. And the first reaction sometimes from the broader systems might be, “What did I do or not do?” And all kinds of really complex emotions.
So for that reason, we’ve built in these family recovery coaches, specific groups, and family therapy to be able to step through those complex kinds of reactions and destigmatize and normalize that the whole system is impacted.
So every time, twice a month, we do new hire orientation. The new staff sit with our HR folks around the conference table, which is adjacent to my office. And it is one of my favorite things to do, to go and sit with our new staff and ask them their why. What makes you want to do human services, do it here in this mission-oriented nonprofit that steps through some of the most difficult aspects of a human journey?
And I love it because I love people’s stories. Across the board, people will talk about their families of origin and their chosen families, and how those have impacted their choices and shaped their direction. And then I share my story, so if I can, I’ll do that.
So you knew my mom, you know my dad.
[04:42]
Sure.
[04:43]
I grew up with my mom and dad. I’m the oldest in my family, and my mom’s mom, and my brother is two years younger. And in my extended family, my mom was the youngest of six, and there was a lot of family in my house all the time growing up.
As I recall my childhood, my house was often very full, and there were a cast of characters. And my mom’s extended family in particular, there were lots of storytellers, there was lots of music, there was charisma, there was intelligence, and there was also a lot of trauma, there were mental health issues, and there was lots of alcohol use.
And I mention all of those things because everybody has multiple facets to their personalities. And when things would kind of go sideways with some of those families, the children would come and stay with us.
So my cousins, there were 22 different cousins that came and stayed at my house throughout my childhood years. And two ended up coming and being adopted by my parents. My cousin Kelly, when she was six, was orphaned. And then my cousin Ralph, years later, left a difficult situation and came, and my parents adopted both when my brother and I were growing up.
And those experiences certainly shaped me. And my mom was a marriage and family therapist. My dad, a dentist. My grandmother had a lot of education. So my parents had a lot of tools and a lot of resources to be able to help our family and the kids in our family step through these things.
But the systems weren’t set up to take care of the extended family, my family, and say something as simple as, “I see you. I recognize what you’re carrying, and let’s talk about that and what that experience is like for you.”
That would have been really helpful. So that helps to inform my work today and what we’re able to offer folks at McCall.
[06:50]
I think a lot of that is still unfolding because it’s a two-track thing. On the one hand, the system is not set up, but it’s beginning to unfold, to emerge. But the other one, too, is you talk about people who are in crisis and that family unit around them. The supporting characters are like, “They’re the ones suffering. I’m good.”
And then they’re resistant to ask for help. It’s sort of like, “No, no. Given what they’re going through, this is nothing on me.” And so they absorb all that, and they carry it forward.
[07:31]
That’s so beautifully said, and that’s such an insightful point to make. And I think when we can say, “Yes, that person is going through it, and so are you,” we can make space in our systems for both.
[07:47]
I’ve always enjoyed the folks we’ve had here on the radio because quite often they have shared their story. These are empathetic people. These are people with very, very solid life lessons that have compelled them to go into the type of work that you folks do. But I always enjoy their stories about what motivated them to get there.
For family members who are, again, taking on that support role or ending up as part of the collateral stress that comes from these situations, how do they know when they should reach out? Are there certain telltale mental health signs that they should really try to be more aware of, so that they know when it’s okay for them to reach out?
[08:39]
I love that question because a lot of times we attach the answer to that question about our loved one’s journey. And if they aren’t ready to go see a therapist, does that mean, because it’s their story, are they driving this?
But I love the way that you phrased that question, because how do we know? Are you feeling a lot of heavy, complex emotions that you could benefit from talking with an expert about how to sort through them, how to organize them, how to find some peace around that?
That is distinct from that loved one’s journey. And a lot of times it feels hard to kind of discern that.
But are you feeling sometimes irritable? Are your sleep patterns being disrupted? Are you feeling like you need to step in and save or rescue? Are you taking on too much of the responsibility for someone else’s choices?
Those are all indicators, I think, that you could benefit from having somebody to talk to.
[09:35]
Our guest this morning, Maria Coutant Skinner from the McCall Behavioral Health Network. Love to have you stick around, but we’ve got to get back to the news. But appreciate your insight here, and hopefully if there’s family members out there or friends, supporters, those who are helping others who are going through tough times, that they know when it’s okay for them to reach out.
What’s the best contact information?
[09:59]
You call our main number. We have all kinds of services. A lot of them are free. Family recovery coaches, Recovering Together is a group, individual work, family work. We’ll sort through it if you call us.
[10:15]
All right, and you can always find out more, mccallbhn.org. Maria, always a pleasure having you on the show.
[10:23]
Thank you.
[10:25]
Thanks for sharing my 32nd anniversary. I appreciate it. Back to the newsroom now, just a tad late. Hey there, Jeff.