A message from Maria Coutant Skinner, LCSW, President & CEO
March 31, 2026
Dear friends;
I often write about something I’m wrestling with—and this month is no exception.
I had the very special privilege of having my grandmother (my mom’s mom) as an additional caregiver in our home. She provided gentle wisdom and unconditional love to my siblings, my cousins, and me. My Gram was a deeply spiritual person with a quiet strength that brought her through untold heartbreaking challenges and grief.
I think of her guiding words almost daily. In my very early childhood, rest was part of our daily routine. I resisted it ferociously. I didn’t want to stop playing and miss out on a moment of the day.
Gram would suggest that I lie down for a couple of minutes and ‘stretch out’. She was right, of course. I needed to take that time to recharge, and I always felt refreshed afterwards. Later in my high school and college years, I’d be racing from one event to the next and often appeared harried. My grandmother would say; ‘if you have 15 minutes, take 15 minutes.” I knew she was right, but I’d often convince myself that I couldn’t slow down for even that brief break. I’ve always filled my days, packing more in than is reasonable. There are deep reasons for that.
Turns out, it’s not that unusual; relentless schedules, impossibly high standards, the inability to do just one thing at a time. On the surface, these look like productivity. Underneath, they are protection.
Perfectionism is not really about excellence. It’s about controlling how others see us. If everything we produce is flawless, no one can criticize us. Chronic busyness works the same way. A packed calendar says I am needed, I matter—but it’s also something harder to admit: I don’t trust that I have value if I am not doing something.
When we genuinely slow down, what surfaces first often isn’t peace, but anxiety and guilt. The sense that rest must be earned. These feelings are information. Somewhere along the way, many of us absorbed the belief that our value is conditional, that belonging is something we have to keep performing our way into. The fear isn’t just “what will others think?” It runs deeper: it’s a socially reinforced distraction from discomfort and fear. A fear of rejection, abandonment, and judgment.
My Gram would tell me that rest is not laziness. Rest is the practice of trusting that you are enough, not because of what you’ve done but because of who you are.
The nervous system cannot heal in a state of perpetual activation. Rest isn’t a reward for when the to-do list is finished—it is where integration happens, where perspective returns, where we access the parts of ourselves that endless motion keeps out of reach.
My grandmother’s quiet, peaceful strength still serves as a powerful example for me. She demonstrated that it’s in the stillness that our experiences can be deeply processed.
My friends, we can cultivate the ability to be still with the fullness of our humanity, the tumult of the world, and the depth and breadth of our experiences. We are all deserving of rest.
My best to you always,
Maria
Maria Coutant Skinner, LCSW
President and CEO
Return to our Blog for more inspiring stories and insights.